JadeW

Lindsay Lohan Celebrates Birthday With Sister, Blow(ing Out Candles on Cake)

Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan turned 29, which is remarkable in its own right.

What might be more impressive, however, is the fact that Lindsay seemed to have marked the occasion with a fairly low-key, possibly even sober celebration.

The day before the celebration, Lindsay posted a naked butt selfie and described vague plans to spend her big day hanging out with her sister.

Nudity aside, the whole thing seemed incredibly normal. There were no queries about where to obtain an Everest-sized mountain of blow or links to Google pages about the efficacy of guzzling booze with less-traditional orifices.

We had our suspicions that she wasn’t telling us the whole story.

It’s totally possible that we were right, and she pulled the wool over our eyes, but after scouring the web for reports of bad behavior, we’re happy (and a little confused) to tell you that Linds seems to be mellowing with age.

Sources say she looked fantastic in a modest white dress as she celebrated with her seldom-seen sister, Ali, and a small group of friends at London’s Covent Garden.

Lindsay is off probation for the first time in eight years, and we kind of figured she would go nuts after being on the leash for so long, but it looks like they impossible is happening…Lindsay Lohan is growing up.

Of course, we just jinxed it, and now she’s probably hot-wiring a cop car as we speak.

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Larita Shotwell

Update: 2024-01-23